My Angel

LONG MONTH

I can't believe it's already been a month.  This whole month seemed to go SO slow but incredilbly fast all at the same time.  My much anticipated homebirth after 2 c-sections is a beautiful story with an unfortunate ending.  This isn't the long version of Jubilee's birth story, but this is all I can handle!

OVERDUE

My ESTIMATED due date, January 2nd 2011 came and went.  I knew in my heart my baby's loved my warm squishy home I gave them, so it didn't surprise me when I past my due date.  After a week I really started getting anxious, I was really starting to get SICK of being pregnant, but I promised myself I would wait for God's perfect timing.  On January 10th I scheduled a bio-physical profile.  I was really upset my baby girl had no desire to come out and meet her family.  I prayed she would come before the bio-physical profile and NO lie, 4 A.M. Thursday morning I started having contractions and bloody show.  I was absolutely thrilled to have regular contractions.  But I was completely heart broken later in the day, when the contractions decided to stop.  This off and on continued until January 15th around 4am when they became a little more "regular."  Regular and intense enough I couldn't sleep or take a nap.

JANUARY 16th

Sunday in the early morning, I was still up but this time the pain was more intense.  I couldn't get comfortable during the contractions and I was starting to become really irritated due to the fact I couldn't sleep.  Around 4 A.M. David thought it would be good to relax in the tub.  He filled the tub with warm glorious water and when I got into the water, I had INSTANT relief!  I saw on different posts for "labor management," water was nature's epidural.  Boy, we're they right!  After a couple of hours of intense contractions David called our midwife Jen.  IT WAS TIME!  But soon after he called my contractions didn't feel as intense and honestly I felt as if they STOPPED!

All my birth support ladies showed up and I felt so dumb we asked them to come because my contractions were less intense.  But when Jen checked me around 8 A.M., I was already PAST transition!  I was 6 cm!!  It was the most accomplished feeling.  I decided we should call my mommy, David's mother and his sister.  Shortly after the call everyone was there, I knew for sure I wanted there during our baby girl's arrival.

Everyone was getting hungry and started ordering Subway for lunch.  Jen wanted to check my progress before everyone got distracted with lunch.  I was 9cm!  I was thru the roof, I couldn't believe I got to 9 cm without any agonizing pain!  I was so thankful to God for such a beautiful labor.

Jen had me walk around after lunch to get everything moving but I had absolutely no urge to push.  At this point I was just irritable and exhausted.  I got back into the tub for a while but I was just not into it.  I needed sleep so I took a NAP!!  It wasn't easy to take a nap because the contractions would wake me up every minute.  But I was so incredibly tired, when I "woke" up from my nap, I was refreshed and ready to push.

I headed downstairs with everyone and told Jen I felt ready to start pushing.  I felt like I was pushing forever and I wasn't getting any where.  But what seemed like FOREVER later and MANY pushing positions later, Jen urged me to see our baby girl's head popping out as I pushed.  She was intent on me to seeing the progress I was making, though I had no desire to LOOK down there (lol). 

I would continue but since Jubilee's birth is under investigation (just like any death), I cannot go into the details of her actual arrival.

But Jubilee's delivery was EASY!  After hearing things like..."just push through the ring of fire!"  I was really nervous about delivering a child for the first time.  I thought Jubilee was small because I hardly felt ANY pain during her delivery.  I did feel a little bit of burning but it last only a couple of seconds until I pushed again.  I felt so blessed to have a birth so beautiful!

IN HIS ARMS

My birth experience was INCREDIBLE!  Though I wish I could give you an ending filled with little baby coos and tiny baby cries, I cant.  It breaks my heart I can't share one month pictures of my beautiful little girl.  But Jubilee Eden is being well taken care of by our Saviour!  She is now waiting for us in heaven and I pray we can introduce each and every one of you to our angel one sweet day.


"He is all I have, when I feel I lost everything!"